Willow Grace

I wanted to catch some of you up to date on where we are at now. I know I have been MIA in my blogging, but as you can see I am back at it and have made a few changes to the look. We were due with our third child on April 16, 2018. On March 20, I went in for my 36 week check up.  I was measuring at 33 weeks and I had lost a pound, so my Midwife sent me to get an ultrasound just to be safe. At my ultrasound they found that my baby girl was breach, that the placenta was slowly doing its job less and less, and that I was a bit low in amniotic fluid. So the doctor decided they would have me spend the night, give me steroids for 24 hours to make the baby's lungs stronger, and then do a c-section. This all came as a surprise but we had no choice but to roll with it. We spent the night in the hospital and the next day they started to get worried after an ultrasound at the movement and amniotic fluid and took me in for a c-section immediately. The spinal tap did not take, I was still moving my legs and had full sensation, so they put me under. When I came to, the nurse and my husband informed me that our baby girl, Willow Grace Ter Horst was born with Down Syndrome (ironically on World Down Syndrome Day 3-21). We had no idea prior to her birth of this diagnosis. I would like to tell you that I cried, then took it with grace, but that is not the story. We were devastated. Tim and I went to a very deep place of grieving. Life has seemed so unfair. I felt like when Quinn died I was in this pit of grief and I fought tooth and nail to seek Christ, to choose joy, to climb out, only to be flung back into the pit and I did not want to be here again. We, once again, found ourselves grieving the loss of hopes and dreams we had for our daughter. Before the day was done, a pediatric cardiologist came to our room and informed us that Willow had a significant hole in her heart that would require open heart surgery. South Dakota didn't have a pediatric cardiologist surgeon that could do this surgery so they recommended at 4-6 months of age we would do the surgery in Ann Arbor, MI. Needless to say it was just a lot to process in one day.

Fast forward 4 months. Willow is such a good baby. She sleeps 8 hours through the night- every night, she is content, she eats like a champ, she rolls over from tummy to back and back to tummy like it is no big deal, she is smiling, she is cooing, she shows no signs of heart failure, but she still has a hole in her heart. We are in a better place then right after she was born, but we are still grieving and processing what this diagnosis means for her life and ours. And Sunday (at 9am) we fly to Ann Arbor for her open heart surgery which is on Tuesday. I am writing this as an update, but also as a plea for prayer. The following are my prayer requests for our dear friends, family, and prayer warriors:

1. For a successful surgery. This surgery has a 98% success rate and she should only need one surgery, but our prayer is that she will not need another. The surgery is to repair an AV Canal or AVS Defect which means the surgeon (her name is Dr. Romano) will have to patch a significant hole in the middle of Willow's heart. The surgery is scheduled for Tuesday August 7 at 7:30 am and should take 4 hours.
2. For Recovery. Willow will be in ICU for 24-72 hours and the hospital for 7-10 days, but could be less if everything goes great. We have been hopeful thinkers and have scheduled a return flight for Monday August 13...6 days after surgery. We can always move it back, but if you want to pray specifically- pray that Willow would recover beautifully and miraculously and be released by Monday so we could come home.
3. For Cale. Tim's parents, my parents, and my sister are all coming, but it is still a lot for a 3 year old to process and not have his parents full attention. He could either rise to the occasion or be a pill. Pray that he sleeps and acts better than we could have imagined.
4. Pray for Tim and I. I have been an emotional mess this week. I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of tears or the verge of being short and snappy. I am overwhelmed with uprooting my family for a week or two, with the unknown, with the thought of my beautiful baby being cut open, with school starting for me 9 days after surgery, with Willow being the same age as Quinn as she passed away. I am still dealing with some PTSD.
Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for praying for us, for encouraging us, and for joining us on this crazy journey. I will use this blog to keep you updated on how surgery and recovery are going.